Heyo!
This week I went to Olive Garden (what the fuck?) to rank all of their appetizers (what the fuck???!) for The Takeout (OK do what you gotta do for money, I guess.)
I’m getting pretty good at managing this whole food writing thing. The key is to just stop yourself from eating more. I know, I know, it’s called self-control, but would you believe that it’s taken me all of my 38 years to get good at willpower? Case in point: I had one shitty bite of Olive Garden’s mozzarella sticks. I tasted the bland, plastic cheese. I took note of the undercooked, over-salted breading. Did I need to finish it? No! Not when I’m already staring down the barrel of a gun loaded with unlimited breadsticks.
Hey, that’s a good idea: It’s like a t-shirt cannon but it fires breadsticks. Somebody get me a job at Darden, Inc.
And so nowwwww I have to go from eating at Olive Garden to making homemade tagliatelle for my weekly pasta pop-up in Los Angeles. If you read The Move on Monday, you know that I’m newly obsessed with this idea of Pennsylvania Dutch Alfredo sauce, and I’m starting to think this early recipe (which includes Swiss cheese) is what ruined catapulted the cream heavy American Alfredo into so many Italian-American restaurants. This Sunday, I’m going to serve a homemade version of the Dutch stuff as an ode to bastardized pasta everywhere. Follow me on Instagram for deets on that/if you want to try it!
OK enough about pasta, let’s talk about burgers in Los Feliz.
I wish the restaurants around Los Feliz were better. I’m a huge fan of Loupiotte, but they recently lost their dinner service due to the exit of part owner and all around good French guy Antoine Blandin. Mirate is dope, but outside of that? Little Dom’s is a little bland. All Time isn’t worth the time because it’s so expensive, and La Pergoletta’s pasta is just le fine. Still, Los Feliz remains a great hood for happy hour drinks. One of my favorites is at Atrium, which you’ll find in a back alley near a bookstore. The drinks are cheap, but their happy hour burger lacks.
Atrium’s burger is also overpriced at $12. The deets on it? It’s made with 10k dressing, American cheese, and grilled onions, yet it somehow falls severely flat. There’s something about this burger that reeks; it’s a little too smooshed and limp for my taste.
I remember Atrium’s burger being better the first time I had it a few years ago, but when I had it a second time it just didn’t do it for me. Does the meat have too much fat? There’s something a bit too rich about it for me. It’s a little too chef-driven (vroom vroom, yes yes) when it could stand to be a little more basic.
I want the food at Atrium to be good, but it’s overpriced and just OK. Still, I go there quite often because their happy hour prices are damn good and the interior of this place rules. Get an old fashioned for $9 (nine dollars in L.A.!!!) or a Tecate for $4. Those drink prices are as good as it gets in Los Angeles, unfortunately. Big wooden pillars and, a ton of space, and a cool back alley entrance serve Atrium well. The wrap-around bar is a great place to meet up for drinks with a date or a friend, but unfortunately, you should eat elsewhere.
Yuca’s burger is phenomenal, however.
The double cheeseburger at Yuca’s costs $9.50. It comes with two smashed patties, two slices of melty American cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, and onion. No 1000 island dressing, just classic condiments. It’s beautiful and simple and it elicits strong memories of burgers past. It’s not flashy or cheffy or modern. What this burger has that others don’t is an excellent char. You get smoky, crispy, charcoal flavored bits of meat that’ll immediately transport you to a friend’s backyard barbecue. It’s classic, nostalgic, and gets the job done.
I love Yuca’s so much. It’s just a hood joint through and through. Great burritos, tacos, burgers, fries, hot dogs, and the like. There’s nothing like it in Los Feliz. Everything else is fairly overpriced or a sit down affair. If Yuca’s ever goes down, it’ll be a damn shame. It’s holding Hillhurst together.
There’s another burger in Los Feliz that you need to try and that I’m fairly certain you don’t know about, however. For that info, you need to upgrade and become a paid subscriber. I know I know, that sucks. But hey, I’ve got to make a living somehow. If you don’t want to pay, shoot, just DM me and I’ll tell you where the damn burger is.
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