Heyo!
Recently, Jim Spanfeller (just an all-time dorky CEO name) sold The Takeout, a website at which I have been a regular contributor for years.
The Takeout paid all of my bills for the better part of 2023, but I’ll miss working with them for another reason: Marnie Shure was the best editor I ever had. She had a knack for making me seem smarter than I really am, honing in on what I thought was funny, and tightening up my self-righteous ramblings. Marnie was gracious, understanding, and said yes to just about every idea I came up with—whether it be a study of Garth’s Breakfast Bowl, the shortcomings of In-N-Out’s fries, or just a straight up ode to the old, crusty mushrooms used by Jacques Pépin.
Because my editor was the dopest, I always felt proud of my work with The Takeout, despite the fact that Jim Spermfeller annoyingly decided to bog the website down with ads years ago.
But that’s all gone because good ol’ Ham Spitfellar sold the website to Static Media and they got rid of Marnie, too. I don’t want to mince words here: Static Media can eat my entire ass. This company is responsible for such horrid internet meat grinders as Mashed and The Tasting Table. They employ almost no staff writers, and instead prey on humble freelancers to do their bidding for clicks. Static asked if I’d be interested in returning to The Takeout to write articles for 8 cents a word. This is what I told them:
I have found great peace in telling people to go fuck themselves. Folks make too big a deal out of “burning bridges.” You know how many bridges there are in the United States? I just Googled it—over 600,000. Get out there and burn a couple. You’re fine.
Anyway, this whole Static Media mess was a blessing in disguise, because while scrambling to find new work, I immediately received fulfillment and success. I’ve already got a gig in Detroit covering restaurants, and I’m working for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette again, too—writing about one of the greenest universities in the world, Chatham, as well as the Mid-Atlantic delicacy stuffed banana peppers. Life is good.
Today’s newsletter is a Chip Country about delicious chips fried in lard, however. And I’m pretty sure you can only get them here in Pennsylvania.
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